A Brief Autobiography of Ryan Glanzer
Ahh, where do I begin? Logically, 1982. That's when it
all started. At 4am on August 23, 1982, I burst forth from the loins of
20-year old Marcie Glanzer at the Huron Regional Medical Center. Dick
Glanzer, II was there as well. I was the first, and therefore best, of the
three Glanzer children. We moved into the trailer house on the farm
outside of the metropolis of Carpenter, South Dakota. Across the yard
lived my grandparents on Dad's side, as well as my aunt, albeit briefly.
1983: I don't really remember much from 1983. I suppose I spent my days in
the house with Mom while Dad was out in the fields and running his auto mechanic
business, Dick's Garage.
1984: This was a crucial year, and not because the Tigers and Padres met in the
World Series. On November 29, my sister Jordan was born. It was no
routine birth, however, as she popped out at a farmhouse on the way to the
hospital. Who but Dad would be featured on the front page of the Huron
newspaper for having delivered a baby.
1985: I do remember going on a 2-day trip to Sioux Falls in '85 with Mom and
Grandma Bell, and I swam in a hotel pool. I also got some awesome He-Man
characters, including Snake Mountain.
1986: More sitting around the house, playing with MagnaDoodle and watching My
Pet Monster on VHS.
1987: The Twins won the Series, but I wasn't aware of it. I was too busy
going to preschool and crying every time Mom left my sight.
1988: And then there was Alex, who was born March 4. The human portion of
the Glanzer family was complete, barring any untimely pregnancies for Mom, which
I understand is impossible at this point. I also started kindergarten at
Willow Lake along with good friend Dusty Hovde.
1989: It was on to the first grade, where I was so smart Mrs. Warkenthien tried
putting me in second grade where I technically belonged. I was one of the
oldest in my class. We also said goodbye to Grandpa Dick after a heart
attack and a stint in the Veteran's Hospital in Sioux Falls.
1990: In second grade, it was that nasty Mrs. Warne. That year, I finally
was over my whole problem of being scared the bus would leave me behind and I'd
have to walk 18 miles home.
1991: The Twins won it all again, and again I was totally oblivious to the fact
that there was even a sport called baseball. Actually, that was the summer
I was forced to play on the little league team in Willow Lake. I sucked
bad. We also took our first family vacation as we visited the Black Hills.
1992: In the fourth grade, Mr. Beutler was my teacher, and my good friends were
Andrew Graham and Ronnie Froke. That year I received all three of my grade
school tickets for being bad. Ronnie got me into so much trouble, like the
time we put the doorstop on the outside of the resource room, locking all the
kids inside during a fire drill. I also left the state for the first time
after nearly ten years of being trapped in South Dakota. Dad, Alex, Regan
Glanzer, and I went a mile into Minnesota.
1993: This was the year I started my eight-year basketball career by scoring a
total of 11 points, four of which came in a span of thirty seconds at the end of
a game. It was also in December that my second cousin Eric was nearly
killed in a farm accident and was sent to Kansas City to recover.
1994: We went to Kansas City to visit Eric in the hospital, where he was in
rough shape. While in KC, we took in a Royals/Mariners game, Worlds of
Fun, and other stuff. Eric would pass away that winter.
1995: It was on to junior high, where I was the starting center on the football
team. I also got my first locker, which I shared with Skrew Adkins, and
went to my first dance. I was accompanied by Kathy Brower. The
summer before seventh grade I went to Canada with Andrew Graham's family.
We camped and fished for a week.
1996: That summer I went to my first two Twins games as they battled the A's in
a doubleheader. I went into the eighth grade with horrible acne and hit a
monstrous growth spurt. It was clearly the year of puberty.
1997: In the summer, the family went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee to Uncle Brian's
wedding. I also became a high schooler and joined the "A" Band, where our
band trip to the Black Hills was quite fun. I was quite the trumpeter.
1998: In the winter of my freshman year, I finally broke out and scored 89
points for the basketball team in a single game. Just kidding, it was for
the season. I went to the Twin Cities with Brandon Hanson's family.
We took in a Twins/Cardinals game, and Brandon nearly caught Mark McGwire's home
run ball. That fall I broke my leg in football practice and missed the
great season. Our team went 9-2.
1999: Another Hanson trip took us to the Cities for a Twins game and Valleyfair.
As a junior, I still suffered from severe acne and hatred for football, but went
out for the team again. I played JV and varsity basketball and combined to
score over 300 points between the two. I worked at a Huron cemetary that
summer, and in the fall became a DJ at KOKK in Huron.
2000: I went everywhere in 2000. I went to Kearney, Nebraska for Student
Extravaganza. I went to San Francisco with classmates for a school
project. I went to Winnipeg for a choir trip. I went to Steamboat
Springs for a family reunion. And I went to St. Louis for a church trip.
Not to mention yet another Minneapolis trip with the Hansons.
2001: I graduated high school and spent the summer as a DJ and campground
attendant. After graduation, I went on a road trip to Michigan with Guy
LaMont and Brandon to visit former classmate Jesse Van Heukelom. On the
way, we stopped and saw a Twins game and went to a Bon Jovi concert. That
fall I started college at DSU, where I roomed with Brandon in the dorms.
2002: After a fun year of college, I moved to Shakopee, Minnesota to work at
Valleyfair for the summer. I got a job in the Games department. That
summer I became good friends with big names like Patrick Lynch, Jason LaPlant,
and Liz Burke. The Twins were great too. I went to 20 games, and
they made it to the ALCS before losing in five games.
2003: I was back at DSU for year number three, where I moved into a house at 912
N Egan with Chris Ahrendt and Brandon. For spring break, Brandon and I
went to Tucson, Arizona to visit the Colchados. In the summer, I went back
to Valleyfair where I was promoted to team lead. I took a trip to Ohio
with co-workers Justin Springer, Libby Boggess, and Jeff Gwost to take in Cedar
Point. In the fall, it was back to the Cities for Twins playoffs, but I
wrecked my car on the drive up.
2004: Spring break this year took me, Liz, Patrick, Jason, and Travis Boultan to
Las Vegas for the greatest week of my life to this point. In the summer, I
was back at Valleyfair as a supervisor. I again returned to DSU to 912 N
Egan in the fall, this time with Chris and Jason as roommates.
2005: A spring break road trip with Craig Kargilynan, Brad Feeney, Jake
Drotzman, and Jason was spent in Detroit and Toronto. I finished the first
part of my senior year, then moved back to Minnesota again to be a supervisor in
Games. I lived with Jason, Jeff LaPlant, and Jesse Cooney in Burnsville.
I met Amanda Geditz in the spring, who I dated from May to December.
I returned to DSU in the fall in hopes of finishing up DSU and moving on with my
life.
2006: I moved to the Twin Cities full-time and began work January 3 at MB, Inc. Technology
in Chanhassen as Marketing Assistant. After living with Liz Burke for three weeks, Nick Sandbulte and I got
our own apartment in Eden Prairie.