Derrick "Hard to Get" Geiszler Column
Thursday,
November 3, 2005
Archives:
6.02.05 6.12.05
6.22.05 7.11.05
10.21.05 10.27.05
I
was also thinking of the Top 4 Most Memorable falls in the last 2
years. Here they are:
4) Last fall at Cooney's, Craig and I thought it would be a great idea
to jump their 4 feet tall and 2 feet wide bar. Craig barely made it
over. Me being a superior jumper and not to be outdone, I gave it my shot. I
ended up jumping on top
of the bar, and not over. The unstable bar started to sway to and fro,
back and forth, all the live long day. I surfed it for a good 5
seconds (it seemed like hours) before it crashed to the floor and I with it. I
somehow
escaped serious injury. To redeem myself, I went back the next day and
jumped it easily at least a dozen times.
3) This spring at the Shep Shop, Craig was annoying roommate Jake and calling me
out. Several brief skirmishes where I declared myself the victor left Craig
unsatisfied. He then turned his attention towards Jake. I then picked Craig up
and attempted to softly throw him on his side as I have done many times.
Instead, I ended up viciously throwing him on his face. He started moaning and
rolling on the floor. I held him on his back and poured some water on his face.
After a short period he came too, very angry. He kept yelling at me "What, do
you think it's funny?!" I didn't know whether he was talking about the knockout
or the water. He didn't remember any of it the next day.
2) In May of 2004, Craig and the boys were having a party at the Shep Shop. We
headed out onto their apartment roof to hang out for a while. Craig, who was
walking right beside me, suffered a sudden case of vertigo and took a
face-plant. He jumped up immediately and proclaimed "Just kidding!" He was
bleeding and had bits of rocks and the like stuck in his face. Everyone was
amazed how he saved his drink. The next night, he told some ho that a midget
with a carpet beat him up, and she believed him. She wouldn't, however, believe
his real name was Craig.
1) Last fall we were hanging out in front of the Shep Shop because a few of the
boys needed their cancer sticks. Brad Feeney was standing right beside me when
he also suffered a case of vertigo and fell face first into a car's bumper.
Everyone was shocked and didn't do anything for about 10 seconds. I think he
knocked himself out because he didn't move at all. He also split his lip wide
open and broke a couple of teeth. We took him upstairs to treat his wounds,
where we decided he needed further medical attention. He did, badly. He's
beautiful now again, though.