Hello Mr. Korbel, how are you today?
Tired and not looking forward to work

Word on the street is you're still working on a college degree at SDSU. What are you going for and when will you be done?
I am still at SDSU. I was planning on graduating in December but things
didnt go as planned. I'll graduate next May with a degree in Sociology emphasizing in education with a minor in History.

Do you ever miss M&J Sports Cards, the baseball card store in Willow Lake? God knows I spent way too much money there.
I do. Only because I didn't have to spend any of my own money and I had the most bitching card collection. Why the hell did collect Shaq cards? I can't stand him.

Do you still collect any cards?
My dad recently sold the majority of the collection he and I acquired throughout the years. To answer your question, no.

Is it true your dad was on Jeopardy years ago?
No, but I think that rumor started when I told Mr. Kelley that he was.  However, I think the old man would do well. He seems to know a lot of the questions. I remember he got super pissed one time there was a category about opera music. He didn't get any of them right. "Who the hell needs to know about that crap music anyway?"

We are bonded by the fact that your dad and my mom work at the post office together. Are you surprised that neither of us pursued a career in the postal industry?
Not really.

It's been nearly six years since we said our fond farewells to Willow Lake School. Do you miss anything from the high school days?
I do. Rocking, and not having to study or do homework to pass.

Would you concur that Sumpy was the worst coach of all-time, if not the worst human? I know we had our differences with him.
Yeah, Sumpy was definitely not the type of person one would want teaching fifth graders. His temper was outrageous! Remember that time he made me leave an assembly because I was catching flies and throwing them at people? The jerk seriously made me copy dictionary pages and got my mom involved. Teachers are supposed to handle their own disciplinary actions. Instead, he calls my mom! What an ass.

What TV shows do you currently keep up with?
None. I do enjoy watching re-runs of Seinfeld. Family Guy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force are good too.

Tell a good story that involves you and a cop.
Hobo Days 2006: I'm stumbling about down town Brookings. I randomly run into Guy Lamont. Guy had stole a beer mug from Jims Tap and I knew nothing about it. We were both so happy to see eachother we start wrestling in the middle of the street. As we were wrestling, the mug crashes onto the street and shatters everywhere.  I turn my back and Guy is gone. He simply disappeared into thin air! I turned back around and there is a 6'3" muscle bound fuzz ready to tear me limb from limb. I try to run but he grabs me by the neck and tries to get me to clean up the mess. I told the cop I didnt even know my friend had the mug in his coat. The pig could care less. He forces me to clean up the mess or I go to jail. So, I pick up the glass, tell the cop to "pleasure himself" and jet. I saw Guy the next day and he apologized for ditching me. That's how I remember it anyway.

 

If you had to name your wedding party right now, who would be your best man?
Jeff Borah.

Is there any talk of a Hometown Zero reunion tour?
No, I know we would all have some new and definately improved material. Pretty good idea though.

What was your shining moment in Willow Lake athletics?
Probably throwing my football helmet and Sumpy kicking me off the team.

Have you ever gone through a phase where you dressed differently?
Yeah, in high school I was quite the punk. You know the studded belts and everything that is popular today. I caught alot of crap for that and now almost every kid dresses in a similar fashion. I get a bit irritated when I see kids, even college students, who wear skate clothes and don't skate. Skateboarding was a passion of mine and I still enjoy it. I just don't like that its more of a fashion now a days. Damn posers!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how clean is your bathroom?
1

Who is your pick to win the NBA Finals?
I don't pay much attention to the NBA anymore. Are the Nuggets still in?

Are there any ladies in your life right now? If so, are wedding bells in the future?
Let's just say I'm batting a big fat ZERO.

What do you think is more likely to exist--ghosts or life on other planets?
Life on other planets.

If you could make out with any woman over 50, who would it be?
Bea Arthur is pretty hot.

Have you ever seen anything so unusually large that it scared you? Like maybe an abnormally enormous pumpkin or a giant frog?
I have seen the world's largest dream catcher and it was all I hoped it could be.

What was the best movie you saw in 2006?
Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, A masterpiece of American cinema.

What US state that you've visited would you least like to return to?
New Mexico

Who is one fellow '01 classmate you've completely fallen out of contact with?
Bobbie Regnier.

Where do you see yourself working after graduation?
Probably Arizona even though I'll miss the fall hunting season here in SD.

What are the odds you'll make another cameo appearance in the Twin Cities this year?
I'm scheduled in for the 23rd and 24th of this month for a Wild game and an Umphrey's Mcgee show. I'll probably make it for a few Twins games as well.

Thanks for your time, Justin. Any closing remarks?
Not a problem. I skipped class to fill out this interview. I guess that means it cost me 30 some dollars to be a part of ryanglanzer.com. Oh well, time well spent. I thank ya kindly for choosing me. Hugs and high fives.