Hello Mr. Burke, how are you today?
Pretty good, thank you.  I just ran out of toothpaste, so I’ll need to run to Wal-Mart, because that’s one of the 2 stores in the town I live in, the other is Hy-Vee, and it’s just food.  I also shoveled the sidewalk that had 6 inches of new snow I should have shoveled yesterday.  The mailman wont bring the mail up if you don’t shovel for him.  

Give us an update on what's new.  Where are you these days?
I am currently residing in Creston, IA; it’s 70 miles from Des Moines, and 90 miles from Omaha, so I can go to Chipotle if I really want to, so that’s good.  

Last I heard from you, you were thinking of leaving UND to pursue an acting career.  Did that ever happen?
I’m actually still going to pursue that, but I decided to make a pit-stop here in Iowa.  I knew that if for some odd bizarre reason I ran to California and quickly became famous, I would never come back here to learn how to play jazz piano, which is something I really want to do.  So  for now I’m here in the music program at Southwestern Community College School for Music Vocations (Long name, amazing results).  So after one more year here, I’m movin' on out to CA to hopefully attend USC, UCLA, or Pepperdine and study acting while doing audition after audition after audition.  

If needed, could you hop in a plane right now and fly somewhere by yourself?
I sure could Ryan, and unfortunately, it’s hard to find an airport that rents planes down here, so over Christmas, I’ll have to do the flying around home.  But I am a certified pilot, I am certified to fly a single engine plane that lands on land, not water.  I cant wait for the next time I get in a plane to say, “Flying cloud ground, this is November one niner eight papa charlie is at thunderbird ready to taxi for a northwest with whiskey.” and then hearing back, “One niner eight papa charlie, taxi to one zero left via bravo, squak zero zero three four.”  I’m smiling just writing it.  

You had a bad experience trying to meet Jerry Seinfeld. Tell us about that.
Well here’s the deal, back last year, when I attended the University of North Dakota, I was going to see Bill Cosby, as sort of a Christmas gift to myself, the tickets were 40 dollars for the 3rd row, awesome right?? Yea, so Bill Cosby cancelled, so I was like, what to do now?  I was watching Seinfeld a month or so later, and During a commercial break,  an ad was on stating that Seinfeld was coming to the Chester Fritz Auditorium, which is across the street from where my dorm was, so I freaked out, and after that episode was over, I walked there and got my ticket, I had an 11th row ticket.  It was only that good because I was by myself.  So I had been out flying the day before the show, just for fun, and when I landed and was paying, I overheard an employee talking about Jerry Seinfeld’s plane time.  So naturally, the next day, I was there 30 min before he was supposed to be in, there was a limo there, and inside was Jerry’s manager (this is before I had decided to do the whole acting thing, so I didn’t try to sell myself to him).  I listened patiently to all the phone conversations he was having on his phone, and basically, in the end, Jerry’s plane landed 15 min AFTER THE SHOW WAS SUPPOSED TO START.  But he still could have opened the over-tinted window as they went by, as I was the ONLY PERSON there with a camera.  I did see his silhouette waving at me as they went by.  So I Jumped in my car and raced back to school, only to find that the streets were lined with cars in the no parking zones, I guess tonight was just special.  So I ran in, I was obviously the last one there, but the show started as I sat down.  Some guy opened for him, he was pretty good, but no Jerry Seinfeld.  Jerry’s set lasted just under an hour, and then he took questions, which was fun.  So after the show, I tried to squeeze my way thought the 2400 people of the sold out auditorium and sprinted outside to my car, I sped to the airport, only to find that the airplane was taxiing away.  So I paid 50 dollars and sat at the airport for 2 and a half hours only to get one pathetic shot of him, and to have that camera confiscated 30 seconds later, so that also added to the time it took to get to the car, but man, one day when I’m famous I’ll tell him the story, and demand my money back.

What is the greatest Seinfeld episode ever?
The Greatest Seinfeld episode would either have to be The Contest, The Airport, or The Outing.  The Contest is just so great that they could make an episode about.... that... “I’M OUT.”  The airport with Elaine’s experience in coach.  And The Outing because well, I mean, not that I’m gay, but, Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  The Smelly Car is good too.

What is it like to be the brother of the legendary Liz Burke?
How do I answer such a loaded question?  I have a big name to live up to, and try to keep the tradition going of awesomeness going is just way difficult.  Just so you know, the word awesomeness was “spelled wrong” and when I right clicked, it fixed it, and you thought it wasn’t a word.  Anyway, I love my sister, and I feel like I would not be the person I am today without her.  I hope she knows just how much she means to me, and I hope I can be as amazing as her someday.

Why did you leave Valleyfair midway through the 2004 season?
Well, it’s kinda a complicated story, let's see if I still remember it all.  Early July, I wanted to switch departments, and Ron was fine with that, said he was sorry to see me go, but he understands how four years in the same department could get to someone.  A few days later told him I actually was just going to leave.  Ron asked if I would put in 2 weeks so they could train a new mechanic, I said sure, I didn’t want to leave them in a bind.  Over the next 2 weeks, I did hard thinking, and decided that I didn't actually want to quit anymore, it was a pretty decent job, and the people were great, and if I did quit, it would be 2 weeks before my end date and my bonus check.  So I had been trying to get off a certain day in July so that I could go golfing with Tom Burke, Steve Burke and Liz Burke.  Parks was scheduled to close that day, and I asked Lemke if he could work for me, and he told me that he had requested the day off, even thought there wasn’t a little R on the schedule for that day.  So I really wanted to go golfing, because my slot was already paid for, and I hadn’t been golfing yet that summer.  So I talked to Libby and asked if it was possible for me to miss that day, she said that as long as I cleared it with the sups that were working that day it would be aright, I told her that she was opening that day along with....... I wanna say Steph, but I don’t know if she was a sup at that time.  But whoever was opening the outer was (continued on next column)

ok with it as well, so I told Libby later that day that I would not be in the day of the golfing, and checked again the day before golf to double check with her. She said it was fine.  So I left a not for parks that I wasn’t in so don’t bother looking for me, and something about the lockers from the night before that was still relevant.  The next morning at 8:30 or so, I got a phone call from Mr. Justin Springer.  He had found my note and was not pleased, he then told me that since I hadn't cleared it with him, it was not OK.  I said that I had talked to Libby and that other supervisor to take my locker calls and other small things Well this was no good for him, he said, “well because you didn’t clear it with me and you didn’t get someone to work for you” “Parks is on this afternoon and Lemke requested the day off” I chimed in, “We’re gonna let you go.” ..... Silence.... There was no, “if you don’t come in today, don’t come back at all” or any other thing than letting me go.  So I was naturally upset, and tried to not let it bother me or my golf game.  Did it?  I dunno, I suck at golf, there’s no way to tell.  But I was most disappointed because I wasn’t able to ever tell Ron how I now felt about Valleyfair! and the games dept.  So the summer of 2005, I got a job at a golf course, and hated it, the people there were complete jerks, so I called Matt, the new manager, never got a call back.  Called again, same thing.  I had grown to understand about how valuable a good work environment was.  I ended up working for Haworth, a company that manufactures, designs, and sells office furniture, very very expensive furniture.  Their cheapest chair is over 200 dollars, and their most expensive, a couple thousand.  But to this day, I dream about working at Valleyfair!, not always things that happened, but things that happen in my head too.  And I hope to one day return, maybe not as an everyday thing, but just to be there and I would never abuse the love I receive or the respect given.  

See any good movies lately?
Unfortunately no, the movie theatre here in town only shows one movie at a time, and it’s always a “family” movie.  Right now it’s the new Harry Potter movie, which I intend to see, but it only plays once a day, 7 PM, and right now, that time just doesn't work for my schedule.

What is on your Christmas list this year?
I don’t even know.  The new system of a down CD, shoes, and that’s really all, I don’t really need that much. Seinfeld, seasons 5 and 6 on DVD would be nice too. News Radio on DVD.

Are there any ladies in your life?
Sadly, no.  There is this one I work with right now (Pizza Hut(I drive(more fun then you’d think it is))) that is OBSESSED with me, but she is not my type at all.  She’s not very attractive and just got out of an engagement, and she turned 18 on the 7th, used to be the biggest druggie you know, and likes to tell you unnecessary things about her life.  She kinda scares me.  

You always dazzled Valleyfair co-workers with your eerily-accurate rendition of "Manic Monday" by the Bangles.  Do you still like to perform that song for friends?
I totally forgot about that.  I can still do it, and actually did when I read this just to prove it to myself, but I haven't much since my days of 80’s music at Valleyfair!.  I suppose I could do a special performance at a party sometime if needed.  

What is the worst storm you've ever been in?
I suppose it would have to be the one when my dad and I stood outside and watched this green wall come over us, bringing like 50 MPH wind gusts, and we rushed inside and down to the basement.  Strangely enough, I had just gotten home from Valleyfair!.

At one time you were a big advocate of ryanglanzer.com. Do you still visit the site?
Honestly, not as much as I should, it was probably a month until I got your email about the interview, and now I’m making it one of the homepages of one of my three browsers, so that I will never go more than a week without it.  

Who from your Valleyfair days do you keep in most regular contact with?
I suppose it would have to be Kyle Henning, but since I brought him to Valleyfair! as a friend from before, he doesn't count.  I’d say Kimberly Renee Weber, that girl rocks and we go to Chipotle together.  I also leave occasional drunk messages on Emily Bisek’s phone.  

You are from the same hometown as Prince.  Ever run into him?
Not once, but I know where his house is, and rumor has it that he submitted building plans to the city to build a house on the lake I live on, so hopefully soon I’ll be able to change my answer to “sometimes”.

Where do you see yourself in 11 years?
I hope and dream to be living in Hollywood, with a second house in MN.  I hope to be know as a good actor with ethics and convictions, someone people wouldn’t be afraid to leave their kids with, not like Michael Jackson.  But it’s an analogy, or a metaphor, I dunno which.  You know what I mean.  I want to be in a few famous movies, and hopefully be in a successful network television show.

You are reportedly a big Rufus Wainwright fan.  Explain.
When I got my computer, I stole a lot of my sisters music, and among that was Rufus Wainwright.  I accidentally stumbled across it one day on random play. And I thought to myself “this is kinda good.”  So I took it off random, and just listened to it, the more I fell in love with it, and I couldn’t get enough of it.  I became obsessed for a short while, and then Ben Folds came out with a new album, so my obsession faded, my love remained, but I wasn’t obsessed.  One day I was looking to see if I could make a Ben Folds concert, and I flipped when I saw that they perform together on the “Odd Men Out” tour.  I was so happy, but so sad when I couldn’t make any concerts.  

If you had to go out to dinner with a former president, an NBA player, someone from the cast of "Full House," and someone from Asia, who would they be, and where would you eat?
Reagan, Shaq, Ashley Olsen (as my date), I don’t know any Asians, so just pick a cool one for me, and we’d go to the olive garden, so I could see them all try to eat messy food, so at least it wouldn’t be just me.  

Thank you for your time Mike.  Any closing remarks?
I’d just like to say that it was my dream since the birth of http://students.dsu.edu/glanzerr to be interviewed.  Also, I started this when I got up and discovered my toothpaste situation, and finished, 10:55PM.  I love you man.