1. How much interest would you have in seeing a david bowie concert?
Little to none. I don’t know David Bowie’s music but any sort of large rock concert would be worth seeing.

2. What was the last book you read cover to cover?
I borrowed that book from you about a year ago called “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.” That guy’s stories made ours look lame.

3. Would you rather go to space camp or cowboy camp?
I’ve got some mild cowboy experience from my days on the farm, so let’s give space a try.

4. What was the last letter you pooped?
Probably I or J. I don’t usually look down to check unless the situation warrants checking.

5. Have you ever been hit with a paintball?
No, and I have no desire to play paintball. I bet it would hurt like the dickens though.

6. Who has the coolest name in sports?
I always liked that old Cleveland Indian from the 1900s named Napoleon Lajoie, pronounced lah-zho-WAY. Currently, maybe it would be Carlos Boozer.

7. Have you ever used a pencil to clean out your ears?
I believe I tried this in grade school a time or two. The eraser end anyway.

8. What is your favorite pinball machine?
I was always partial to this baseball-themed pinball machine in the Sioux Falls arcade that gave out baseball cards.

9. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing?
I still haven’t seen Juno, but by the time this is posted that might not be the case. And that Will Ferrell basketball movie coming out in March strikes me as appealing.

10. Did you ever think you might be color blind?
No, I always passed those dotted color tests with flying colors.

11.Do you think you could lead a normal life if you were required to drink one beer every hour from 8 AM to 11 PM everday?
Well, that would be cutting it down a little for me, you know what I’m sayin? But seriously I could not, although I would probably be a much more pleasant co-worker to have around.

12. What is your favorite Tom Wilkinson movie?
I know he was in Eternal Sunshine and that’s one of my top 50 movies.

13. When was the last time you saw the back of your head?
Not as long as you might think. I saw myself from the back in a picture from Patrick’s party and thought to myself that my hair in back was looking nice.

14. Have you ever tasted windex?
No but the janitor’s closet is always open.

15. Would you rather sit through a horror marathon or a western marathon?
I have about the same degree of interest in both, and that’s minimal. But horror movies inevitably would keep me up at night, so western.

16. Will Jason Bateman win an Oscar?
Doubtful, but if he gets a serious role he can run with, who knows.

17. Who is your favorite supporting character on the american office?
I’d have to say Toby’s scenes are the funniest.

18. When was the last time you drove your car over 80 mph?
I think I approached 80 when I was driving down I-29 over Christmas break. I was passing a semi and needed to speed up a little more.

19. What is your favorite card game?
Presidents and Assholes. That game rules, especially playing it with the parents at Carpenter Bash.

20. Why do you think it has become standard for popular movies to appear in trilogies?
If you can find something that makes a ton of money and people want more, you make more. If you find something that gets huge fan reaction, keep going with it.

21. Have you tried Nick's waterbed?
No. I have only been in Nick’s room two or three times, and those were usually to play some sort of joke on him or fix the router.

22. Have you had a nose bleed recently?
Yes. I got one driving back from Carpenter when I returned for that single day.

23. Would you rather see a Michael Jordan or a Dan Marino comeback?
I think Dan Marino would be way more interesting given how long he’s been retired.

24. Have your legs ever fallen asleep while you were on the toilet?
No, have yours? Maybe a foot, at most.

25. What is your favorite ice cream topping?
Always partial to the hot fudge, but mixing in some sort of candy bar would make it all the more enticing.

26. What do you think of when I say double deep?
At first something sexual came to mind, but I couldn’t pinpoint what. Also a football receiver’s route came to mind.

27. Internet porn yay or nay?
Yay, but you really should limit it. Someday you might get lucky and get the real thing and it won’t be the same as what you saw online.

28. Would you watch PJ'S the movie?
Alcohol must be involved.

29. What should be the title to a new back to the future movie?
Back to the Future IV: The Chronicles of Crispin Glover

30. When was the last time you used a phone booth?
I haven’t used one in a coon’s age. But there is a fake one at the Chanhassen Houlihan’s that I stepped inside once.

31. Do you think you would be happy eating only KFC for a year?
Absolutely not. I get miserable after eating there once. I always overdo it.

32. Would you enjoy being a limo driver?
Yeah, but I would probably have several accidents with the length of the car being what it is.

33. What movie will win best picture at the oscars this year?
I am cheating and coming back to re-answer this question Feb. 16, now that I've seen four of the five nominees.  I would rank them in this order: No Country, Michael Clayton, Juno, There Will Be Blood.  But I would not be unhappy to see any of those movies win.  I will try to get to Atonement before the Oscars as well.

34. Have you seen the movie Driving Miss Daisy?
No, but strangely it is third-to-next on my Blockbuster queue.

35. Do you think drinking lead paint is always dangerous?
The key word there is always, which means 100% of the time. I bet there have been occasions where people have done it with no harm.

36. When will you next be wearing a dress?
The next Rocky Horror party. I won’t be left out this time.

37. Do you think Patrick is afraid of rabbits?
He talks a big game about his love of bunnies, but I would love to see him actually sit down and play with one.

38. Do androids dream of electric sheep?
Yes, but they also dream of regular sheep.

39. Would you shoot a horse in the hoof for $45 dollars?
It can’t feel its hoof, right? It is like cartilage or something. But I would misfire and shoot myself, so no.

40. Is there a chance you will become involved with the mafia in the future?
That all depends how my current stint with the mafia plays out.

41. Have you ever ate hay?
I believe I’ve tried it once or twice, just to see what all the fuss was about.

42. Have you ever seriously wished upon a star?
Yes, on many occasions. Usually I was bored sitting in the backseat of a car at the time.

43. Have you watched Fantasia in its entirety?
I think I have at school. It was an end-of-the-month movie years ago.

44. How many units of pi do you have memorized?
3.14159. I will always remember that much.

45. Who will you be voting for President in 2008?
Nick has really got me on the Ron Paul bandwagon, but I’ll assume he’s not going to be in the runnings much longer. Second on my ballot is Obama.

46. Do you think IHOP has to many gimmicks?
No, I’m not aware of their gimmicks at all.

47. Why are the Garfield movies so terrible?
Cause we remember those hilarious animated Garfields from the day and these movies aren’t the same.

48. Would you rather bring Freaks and Geeks or Arrested Deveolpment back on the air?
Very difficult question. Given the current age of the Freaks characters, it wouldn’t be the same. Arrested could go on regardless of the character’s ages.

49. What food would you like to learn how to cook?
Honestly, a very spicy red Thai curry. I want to impress Lauren Poulter!

50. What subject in high school do you wish you learned more about?
A foreign language would have been nice.

51. How many stars out of 4 would you give No Country for Old Men?
Maybe 4. I really liked it but I think the way you guys gushed about it after the show made me like it a little less.  Actually, after having some time to reflect on it, it really was the best movie I've seen recently.  It should probably get the Oscar.

52. Who do you think is the nicest celebrity?
David Ortiz. He’s the nicest one I’ve met. Overall though, I think Randy Jackson is a giving person. Drew Barrymore seems extremely nice too.

53. Who do you think is the meanest celebrity?
Dakota Fanning.

54. What is your favorite Pink Floyd song?
I’ll have to go with the obvious choice, “Comfortably Numb.”

55. How often do you clean your keyboard at work?
Monthly. I eat a lot of snacks over it and crumbs get wedged in.

56. What is your favorite item at a chinese buffet?
By the way, that question just made me really effing hungry. I always love the General Tso’s.

57. Who was the last person you hit with a snow ball?
Aaron Pratt. I threw one at him as he was getting out of his car a few weeks ago.

58. Who was the last person you hit with a spit wad?
Dikembe Mutombo. He had it coming.

59. Do you think people would kiss more often if everybody chewed?
Yes is the obvious answer. But even you won’t chew, so who’s to say.

60. What language would you most like to learn?
Japanese, given Microboards has an office there and if I could speak it fluently, maybe I’d get to go there on a trip.

61. How do you want to see Scrubs end?
I want to know Janitor’s name. I want Dr. Cox to go into cardiac arrest and JD saves him and the two become best friends. And JD and Elliott should just get together.

62. What is your favorite John Travolta film?
Pulp Fiction, hands-down. But cheers to Hairspray as well.

63. What year was the best in cinema ever?
1994. I think we both know that’s true.

64. Do you think you will ever buy a game for Nick's wii?
Not a chance. The Wii makes me very angry.

65. Would you like to take a bath with Whoopi Goldberg?
Yes, because that would make one hell of a story over dinner.

66. Do you find tinker bell attractive?
I think they drew her to be attractive. I find her dateable.

67. I am having this fear that i have already asked you a question like do you find tinkerbell attractive and that someone will see that and realize how attracted i am to tink, do you have the same fear?
No, I’m very open about my question asking. Are you attracted to Tink? Cause I’m going to judge you and I think you’re really weird.

68. How neurotic do you think you are?
Very. Especially about certain things. I play lots of unnecessary head games with myself and should probably seek help.

69. Do you think Chris Farley would have been nominated for an oscar by now if he were still alive?
Well that’s a big if. I think he’d have attended the Oscars.

70. Would you rather eat three feet of a sandwich or three pounds of steak both of which are really well made?
Steak. I don’t know of a really delicious sandwich.

71. What do you think of Steve Job?
I liked his character from Pirates of Silicon Valley. I like him more than Bill Gates.

72. Do you enjoy licking stamps and or envelopes?
No. Luckily today’s stamps and envelopes are mostly sticky already.

73. How much would you pay for a ticket to a NASCAR race?
$10. It might be fun to see in person, but watching on TV does nothing for me.

74. What was the last original nintendo game you beat?
Hmm… I finished Super Mario 3 a number of times, as well as Contra. Probably one of them.

75. Have you ever said chicken pot pie in a joke?
Not recently, but my joke archival skills are going to shit.

76. What is the most aged thing you have eaten?
I think lots of things in our apartment fridge are about two years old.

77. What is the most aged thing you have drank?
This mini bottle of Pepsi I bought in Canada in 1995 and was saving as a souvenir. It must have been ten years old at the time, but went down like new.

78. Do you think Al Gore means well?
I do. He’s a do-good kinda guy.

79. What is your favorite joke?
I can only tell one. That one where the guy walks into the grocery store and the cashier calls him ugly. That one always gets a laugh.

80. What do you think would happen if Michael Richards tried to make a Borat style movie?
I’d watch it, but the black community wouldn’t stand for it.

81. Who will your first novel be dedicated to?
My dear friend Sammy Liwonjo.

82. How advanced was you vocabulary as a toddler?
I was talking at a Stanford scholar level by 3, no joke.

83. Have you ever used french playin cards?
No but hopefully soon.

84. Do you hate the french?
They seem snobby in movies and sports. Just look at Tony Parker.

85. How often do you use mustard?
Almost never. But I did use some sort of mustard vinaigrette dressing on a salad the other day.

86. What do you think of when I say easter seaboard?
The Easter bunny diving into a pool.

87. When was the last time you were a silly billy?
How about this morning, when I took my car to the shop before work, then trudged through knee-high snow to get to Microboards, all the while singing the Family Matters theme song.

88. Do you remember what the show Chico and the man was about?
No but it is referenced in Everclear’s hit “AM Radio.”

89. Which celebrity will next attempt suicide?
Melissa Rivers will take too many diet pills.

90. Who's autobiography would you most want to read?
Larry David’s would ultimately entertain me to no end.

91. Who's biography would you like to write?
Honestly one of the friends from the gang. Yours would be a great time writing.

92. What professional athlete who is past their prime do you think you could beat at their sport?
Are we talking current? I’d say Nick Punto at power hitting. Otherwise, Muhammad Ali.

93. When was the last time you counted wind mills?
January 2005 on a drive from Madison to Minneapolis.

94. What is your favorite Talking Heads song?
“Burning Down the House” is the only one I can think of. It’s catchy, I guess.

95. When was the last time you sand papered something?
Probably in Sculpture class when I made my wooden Twins logo.

96. When was the last time you played chess?
It’s been over a year I bet. It seems like I played Patrick, but I could be way off.

97. When was the last time something you had was to hot to drink right away?
Very frequently the hot chocolate at work needs time to cool.

98. What do you think the first name will be of this season's American Idol?
George

99. When was the last time you stepped in dog shit?
Last summer I went on a walk and stepped in some and it was annoying me. I had to keep stopping and trying to pick it out with a twig. And then some ended up on my finger.

100. What is your favorite curse word?
I like all the forms of “damn” that we do. “Deeeaaaamn!”